Thoughts Before Graduation

In less than 24 hours I'm going to graduate from high school...

It's such a big and exciting step... yet I can't help but feel some anxiety. It hit me a couple hours ago that this is going to be it. This is the last chapter of my high school years, the last page. With the closing of this final chapter, I can't really see any reason to look back in the past. I feel like I've got nothing to look back on, nothing worthwhile. That isn't completely true though. The friends I've made this year have brought me comfort. Alex, Elderen, Chris, and Josh have all been supportive friends even though they have yet to experience the things I've gone through. When I've felt abandoned or bored, they're always there to cheer me up. They're good guys.

I can't help but feel like I don't belong anywhere among my friends these days. I don't attach myself to any certain groups because I feel alienated in both. There are only a handful of individuals I feel comfortable with and am going to sincerely miss after I leave for UVA. It's still bothering me how little I've achieved in high school. Prom was a let down, although I had fun, many things from that night went on to bother me.

But despite all these disappointments, things are picking up. Senior year has been a rollercoaster to me, going up and down but it is definately going up at the moment. I've made new friends and inspirations. The other day I saw "Up" by Pixar. It was an excellent film that really had an uplifting message about relationships. That every relationship a person has with another is important and special, they shouldn't be taken for granted. The ability for Up to convey so many emotions on the audience also impresses me. I want to be able to make a film like that someday, something as meaningful as it is cute and funny.

I made a list of summer goals that I plan to fulfill by the time I leave for college. I'm confused at the moment on where I'm going with this summer. It's got a time limit that I feel is restricting me. I honestly hope this next year in college, I will be able to start anew, and find myself in a position where I will be sincerely happy. For the moment, however, graduation will just have to be a new beginning for me.